On Mother’s Day

“You look to the mother and you understand the daughter” holds true to me.

I see my mother and I don’t see myself in her, but my actions imitate hers in very unexpected ways, and it makes perfect sense.

I felt as though my mother had pounded me into a person she wanted me to become.

She would express great disapproval for the things that I like that did not fit in, from the clothes I can wear, to the way I wear my hair, the grades I got in school, the after-school activities that I wanted to engage in, the friends that I hang out with, on and on.

Sure I had some choices, choices between the things that she had approved of, but nothing when it came to something she disliked.

With these circumstances, I feel as though I had not the chance to truly explore my interests.

Now on my own, I am free to do whatever I can- with or without the approval of my mother. And our relationship has become “love” on my end at last.

Of all the things she has done for me despite the oppression I felt growing up under her rules- I full-heartedly can say: “Thank you for being my mother, I love you. “

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substance and sustenance

When you learned that you needed to conform to the ideals, you lost your balance.

It was involuntary in the beginning, then consciously trying to control. Not knowing that effort is conflict.

To this day, it is a struggle- trying to find the right balance with a veneer of ideals without seeing what you need.

What you need is acceptance. Where you try to seek it is the culprit.

You think you need help and I am here, available at your dispense as I have always been. Keeping in mind that there are the consequences- of indulgence, of deprivation, of neglect.

Ask yourself and look closer- You already know that you are capable of balance without conflict.